Unlike the characters in Full Circle 911, my own life is not filled with intrigue or life threatening adventures. But, I was convinced to include a journal on my website because that is; “the thing to do.” So, I’ll be telling you about my writing, my home life, what I think about the world and whatever else comes to mind. I think you’ll find humor in much of this, because when it comes right down to it, the complexities in life are… well… funny. On Writing August 2008 The truth of the matter is this...you don't get much writing done when you're promoting a book! In a twisted way, book promoting puts me back in a corporate environment, but this time I'm alone and I have to fend for myself. You'll understand my pain when you consider the types of things I've learned over the past few months. * Photo copier paper jams come in three types; the "You're lucky" surface jam at the paper feeder, the "Unlucky" inside the machine jam where the black toner isn't set and you get filthy as you slowly pull the paper out of the machine's grip. And worst of all is the "I'm in serious trouble" jam which is the one that is so deep that you can't see the paper through the trap door, the paper feeder or where the copies come out. * Three-hole paper punches can hold your precious pages hostage! I bought an electric one and it was well worth the investment. * I know how to make labels on my computer, but I don't know why they don't always line up properly. I simply don't use the messed up ones and print off extra pages. * Don't ever let the clear postal tape get stuck back on the roll! Even if you can find the end, the tape will split when you try to peel it back and re-stick it to the plastic holder thing. When this happens, I've learned to throw the whole thing out before my blood pressure goes up. And...then there's the phone calls that aren't screened, the lines at the post office, stapler jams, three-hole binder rings that don't line up right and prevent the pages from turning, the pencil shaving disasters when it gets over filled and the realization that there is no supply closet...only a supply store that you have to drive to. Now that I know what my support staff used to do for me, I realize that I was the luckiest CEO on the planet! March 2008 I have drafted and re-drafted and re-re-drafted my next book, “Exposing Eurabia” (the proposed title), to the point that I now think I am ready to start writing it. I am now convinced my imagination has a life of its own, and without discipline, it will just keep popping out ideas and changing the story over and over again. Yes, I suffer from the opposite of writers block, I have “writers unblock.” But, I’ve made my decisions and this time I really mean it (or so I think) and I am ready to get down to writing the story! On The Home Front August 2008 Life is full of unpredictable situations that I can't help but wonder about. I want to behave properly, but sometimes I simply don't know what the rules of the games are. Here are a few real-life incidents that come to mind. * Is it really so bad to play a trivia game during the Super Bowl or the World Series? Does it matter if your home team is playing? Wouldn't pretending to care about the game, when you don't, make you a hypocrite? What is the etiquette for these silly events anyways? * If your dog poops and throws up on the veterinarian's walking lot should you tell an employee so they can clean it up or pretend it was already there long before your dog came sniffing along? * Why are my children disgusted by the fact that we turned off the call waiting feature on our phone? Don't they understand how irritating that darn beeping noise can be? * Am I a bad mother-in-law because I won't go to my daughter-in-law's yoga class? I can't even imagine trying to twist into those crazy poses and what if I got stuck in one and embarrassed myself...or worse....embarrassed her? I don't know about the rest of you, but I wish there was a 24-hour hot line available for those of us who simply don't have the time to try to figure out what we should do every time we find ourselves in un-chartered territories of etiquette! Oh...and just for the record...My sister and I were scolded for not paying attention to the Super Bowl; I didn't tell anyone that my dog Charlotte messed up the veterinarian's walkway and parking lot; I hate call waiting and don't care if you get a busy signal when you call my house and I don't do yoga. March 2008 My life went from the rat race to, what I call, “the rat in a maze.” I go around in an endless state of doing this and that, never knowing what I will come across that will mess up my plans. As the president and CEO of a financial institution everything was about schedules, deadlines and strategic planning. As a writer working out of my home everything is about never doing what I plan to do and throwing away my lists of plans. Yes, I make a list every week, determined to accomplish all my goals, but I have yet to complete one of them in the past year and a half. But, like any good CEO, I have valid reasons for my under-performance… • I have an infant granddaughter who doesn’t like to sleep. • I am determined to teach my two beagles how to walk on a leash (two at once) and our daily lessons are a brain draining experience. It’s hard to believe that these two adorable dogs can be so thick headed… or is it that they just don’t care what I want? • My husband has taken time off recently and as every woman knows, having a man around complicates everything! • I re-carpeted the bedrooms and was overenthusiastic about taking the opportunity to “go through things.” In my effort to get rid of things and simplify my life I’ve spent endless hours torturing myself over what to keep and what to get rid of. I’m past the “I’ll find the matching sock” stage, but I’m still caught up in the “oh wow, I didn’t even know I had this” stage! • I’ve become the family psychologist, the family entertainment coordinator, the family cook, the family errand runner and the family “go to person.” • Okay, I admit these are lame excuses and as a boss I wouldn’t have accepted them either, but these examples are just the tip of the iceberg. I cleaned the garage (a huge project), I’ve become addicted to TCM movies (a huge problem) and I spend more time with friends and family (an all too enjoyable distraction). I’m like a rat trying to get through the maze and upstairs to my office, never knowing what’ll happen that will keep me from getting there! On The World August 2008 And so...the 2008 Presidential election is going full throttle. This means that we have an endless supply of campaign news clips to watch; including speeches on every topic you can imagine, interviews where the candidates answer the same questions in the same ways that they have every other time they answered them, hand shaking and baby kissing video clips, spouse watching news and just think....the debates are coming soon. To me it's like watching a remake of a movie....we've seen it all before, but with different actors. No, I'm not being a pessimist...I'm being a realist. The candidates have to play by the campaign play book so to speak and this means careful word selection, scripted answers to questions, controlled media exposure and enough acting talent to make it all appear to be a candid look inside their heart and soul. But if we put aside the hum drum campaign coverage and stay focused on the out of the ordinary moments that get captured by some lucky reporters who are following the candidates around...we get a few glimpses into what the candidates are really about. Here are a few things that I'm hoping to learn about John McCain and Barack Obama in the coming months...not that it'll change my vote...but simply because these are things that I'd like to know about the leader of our country. * What do they eat for breakfast? Although a big breakfast provides energy and yogurt with dry toast is healthy...I prefer a cereal eater. You can learn a lot about a person by the type of cereals that they eat. For example...would you want the leader of the free world to eat Fruit Loops? Or what if they ate something totally organically healthy? I think not. No, I want a candidate who eats an adult brand cereal that has plenty of sugar. This would imply to me that they're conscious of how they appear in public...but also that they refuse to give up their ideals. Yes...I'd like a President who eats Cinnamon Life Cereal or maybe Cheerios...or Frosted Flakes...well...you get the idea. * What was the last Anniversary present that they bought their spouse? Gift selection is an important factor when it comes to a candidate's personality. To me, the gift and the card they choose for the person closest to them reveals how well they'll treat the country they love. A thoughtful card is an excellent choice...as is jewelry, romantic dinner or perfume. But what if he didn't bother with the card at all and bought her a kitchen appliance...or worse...a bathroom scale? Hmmm...would you really want a person who'd give their wife a blender representing us on the world stage? * What about their parenting skills? The way they treat their children is a huge consideration. If they spoil their kids to avoid conflict...I'd believe they're too weak willed to handle Congress. If they were too strict ... I'd think they aren't flexible enough to get anything done in this country. And if they were an uninvolved distant Dad...well....that speaks for itself, doesn't it? * Then there's things like how they drive, what pictures do they carry in their wallets and most importantly...what kind of stuff do they keep in their personal junk drawer? The top drawer of my husband's bureau is full of unrelated stuff that for whatever reasons he thinks he should keep. One of these things is a small amount of emergency cash for his family. In my opinion this says a lot about his character...don't you think? March 2008 I am a political junky, but even I am already sick of the exposure to the presidential candidates for the next election. My opinion about who will be elected (yes, I have opinions about everything) may be not “poll worthy”, but likely to be true. Here’s what I think. • The American people will be so tired of listening to and seeing the current candidate gang, they’ll elect someone we haven’t heard of yet. Partly because we want a change of face, a different voice and someone new to pick on. • I predict the baby boomers (like me) will have a tough time electing anyone that is significantly younger than we are. If you are older than the President of the United States, you’re old. No thank you, I’ll go for the person who is noticeably older than me and buy myself more time to adjust to being middle aged. • I predict we will elect a president who says things we don’t want to hear. We all know the candidates “poll” or monitor what the American people want and that they promise us things based on these polls. The trouble is we can’t always have what we want in this big complicated world. I think the voters want someone who will put us on the road to “realism” and force us to accept it. Maybe we don’t need a president as much as a parent. It’s like taking cough medicine, the truth tastes nasty going down, but it’s better for you in the long run. Yes, it’s time for a change, but the change has to come from both the candidates and the voters. I think the American people are ready to vote for anyone who is smart and trustworthy, regardless of what the truth they tell us may be. Okay, so I’m not a political commentator, but neither are the voters. My predictions may seem strange, but deep down inside I bet many of us can relate to them. On The Rest August 2008 Now that practically everyone has a computer and access to the internet, I'm finding that many things in life need to be re-thought. For example; in my day they called them research papers because researching a topic was a time consuming experience. But, the internet has made researching so much easier that I wonder if writing these school assignments can compare to what I went through. It's not just the research part...it's also using a word processing program versus typing on a typewriter and using white correction tape every time you mess up. And we never had spell check, grammar check or internet sites that sell term papers! The computer has also developed a new kind of dating that's a cross between a blind date and dating someone you've seen but have never really spoken to. There's email and all the rules that go along with managing these communications. Email has kept me in closer touch with some people, yet made the communications I have with them somewhat impersonal. You can shop on the internet, use it like a phone book, get detailed directions from your house to any location that you think of and do your banking...all within minutes if not seconds! I guess what I'm getting at is this...we live in a world that I couldn't even have imagined when I was a child and I can't stop but wonder what the world will be like when it's my time to leave it. This is just food for thought. I'm not going to make a list of what I hope will happen or what I think may become the ways of the future. The point is this...whatever is going to happen will probably be things that I can't even dream of today and I think that's what makes life so exciting! March 2008 The problem with having an overactive imagination is that you are constantly coming up with unanswerable questions. Here’s a few of them that I wish someone could answer. • If every driver on the road drove the speed limit, would the roads and highways become traffic jammed? • If humans had wings, would we fly around like birds or be like chickens and prefer to walk? • If our government found an alien from outer space living amongst us, would the same immigration rules apply to them? How exactly to you deport an alien, anyways? I know these thoughts are silly, but I got you wondering didn’t I? © 2007 Diane Kozak. All rights reserved.